College jokes
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Q: What do college students and deer have in common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.
A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new.
"An old flame? I asked.
He winked and said, "More like an unlit match."
"Now my motto in life," said the school chaplain, "is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?"
"My motto is let bygones be bygones."
"That's good. Why did you choose that?"
"Then I wouldn't have to take any history classes!"
College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them – and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one student indignantly.
"What's it taste like?" asked the cook."
"Glue!"
"Then it's apple pie – the plum pie tastes like soap."
A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That's great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!